


it's neither sink nor swim

by QuietLittleVoices



Series: The Other Side [10]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Doctor!Ben, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Medical Residency, Minor Character Death, One-Sided Attraction (for now)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietLittleVoices/pseuds/QuietLittleVoices
Summary: Ben graduated King Falls High School two months after Sammy was assigned to the Denver, Colorado FBI Field Office just over two hours drive north of him. Four months later, in early September, Ben moved to Denver for college.[Or: Ben's prequel.]





	it's neither sink nor swim

**Author's Note:**

> Ok... ok.... spoilers: the Ben/Emily stuff isn't resolved in this fic but I'm working on "present" day fics right now where it will be so stand by me thank u.
> 
> The tagged OMC is the minor character death, don't worry about it.

Ben graduated King Falls High School two months after Sammy was assigned to the Denver, Colorado FBI Field Office just over two hours drive north of him. Four months later, in early September, Ben moved to Denver for college. 

Ben had always been good at school. He was a straight A student in high school and expected it to stay that way in college, but he got his first B in Org Chem II - along with the majority of the class. It stung at the time, but two years later he got into medical school and then was sent to do residency at the King Falls Public Hospital.

All their supervisors griped about how little work interns had to do ‘these days’ but Ben found that even with the ‘graciously shortened’ sixteen hour day, he didn’t have much time to himself. He left the hospital and went to sleep and if he had the day off then he either holed up in his apartment or was dragged to his mom’s house to have lunch with the moms of all his high school friends, most of which he hadn’t spoken to in nearly eight years. Mrs. Jensen told them that Tim had gotten married and showed them pictures with him all dressed up in his military uniform - Mrs. Myers tried to follow up with Pete’s new website but no one was interested in his landscaping. There was one week where they invited Granny Frickard, right after Greg’s accident, and tried to give her casseroles and house help now that she wouldn’t have a ‘capable young person’ in the house, but Mrs. Frickard had just scoffed at them and left. Ben had never known Greg personally - he was over ten years Ben’s senior - but he’d heard stories and he didn’t really blame her for not being more cut about it.

It wasn’t until about halfway through his internship year that Ben started to spend all his free time at the public library. He used to spend all his time there in high school, because he and his mom couldn’t afford a home computer and his teachers expected typed up reports. The old librarian, though, had been the bane of his teenage years, but when he heard that she’d retired he knew that he would be safe to go there to do any extra work or research he wanted to. He’d always found it easier to study in libraries than in his own home. 

There wasn’t a librarian behind the desk when Ben arrived so he tapped the bell as quickly as he could. The sound rang out brightly through the entire library and Ben cringed slightly when he saw a surly looking high school student glare at him.

And then around the corner came a professionally dressed and very beautiful woman. Her hair was pulled back into a loose bun and everything about her appearance was entirely put together, except for a small smudge of blue ink just on the side of her jaw. 

“Hi!” she greeted him brightly, walking around him and getting behind the desk. “How can I help you?”

Ben was speechless. “Hi,” he answered, and she just smiled at him as he stood in dumbfound silence. “Hello,” he repeated awkwardly after a moment, clearing his throat. “Are you the new librarian?”

“I guess you could call me new,” she said with a laugh. “My name’s Emily Potter, I’ve been the head librarian here since Mrs. Kilpatrick retired last year.”

“Wonderful,” Ben said stupidly, and he felt his brain tripping over itself, clicking on its tracks, to try and remember why he was there. He could talk for hours about degenerative muscle diseases but he couldn’t run a fucking errand. “Uh… can I get a library card?”

“Of course!” Emily said excitedly. “Have you had one here before or are you new?”

“I think I had one in high school?” Ben admitted self consciously. He knew that he’d had one back then, obviously, and he wasn’t sure why he was being so unfocused. “But I - I never renewed it, and my mom probably threw the card out years ago.”

“We’ll set you up as a new user then, it’s just a five dollar activation fee.” Emily tapped away at the computer for a second while Ben fumbled with his wallet and managed to find a five among the sea of ones. It was just more convenient to have singles for the vending machines in the hospital, which was where he ate got more of his nutrition than was probably recommended. He handed her the bill and she put it away, pulling out a card for him. “I just need your name and date of birth for our records, as well as a security question. I’ll list off a few for you to choose from.”

Ben waited for her to be surprised that he was in his late twenties, because most people were, but she didn’t react to it. 

“Did you grow up here?” she asked idly, smiling at him pleasantly.

He nodded. “Yeah, but I went away for university. I only moved back in the last six months.”

She handed him the new library card and a pen. “Just sign the back of it. What brings you back home?”

“I’m in training to be a doctor,” he said proudly, trying to fit his signature into the little box on the card. “First year of my residency, got assigned here. Well, I requested it, and it seemed like no one else really wanted to come and they agreed to take me.”

“If you’re signature’s any indication, you’re on your way to being a doctor,” Emily said, and there was a glimmer in her eye like she was about to start laughing at her own joke.

“Yeah, my handwriting isn't great,” Ben replied with a short laugh. “I wish I could break the stereotype but I’m too busy to work on it.”

Emily giggled and Ben felt himself start to blush. “You’ll get there, Benny,” she said.

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly, looking down and fiddling with his wallet to get the card in. “I, uh - I should go do. Research.”

“Of course. Good luck - I hope to see you around more often,” she replied pleasant.

Ben felt himself stumbled a little as he walked away. “I will be,” he promised, and then tried not to rush into the main part of the library to avoid his own awkwardness.

 

Ben was five the first time he met his dad. It was August and he was going to start the first grade in two weeks, so his mom took him out for ice cream.

She got them each one scoop of ice cream in a bowl, chocolate for herself and Superman for him. She handed him the little bowl and he happily took a bite as she lead him over to a table. He stopped suddenly and she looked down at him, concerned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Someone’s already at that table, mommy, we can’t sit there,” he said.

She smiled softly, and it didn’t touch her eyes though he didn’t realize that at the time or what it meant. “I know him, baby. We’re going to go say hi, okay?”

Ben nodded and shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth as she walked him over.

“Gabe, this is Ben,” his mom said before they sat down.

The man smiled at him. “Nice to meet you, Ben. I’m sorry it took this long.”

“Why?” Ben asks, making sure to swallow all his ice cream first because his mom said it was rude to talk with your mouth full of food. “You’re not one of mommy’s friends.”

The man looks at Ben’s mom questioningly and she just shakes her head. “I’m an old friend,” he said. “I knew your mommy before you were born.”

Ben accepts that and kicks his feet under the table. “Okay. Do you like ice cream?”

He nods. “Yup. I got vanilla here,” he said, and he showed ben his half-eaten cone.

“That’s boring,” Ben said, screwing up his face a little at it while he took a bite of his bright blue ice cream. The man just laughed.

Later, his mom would strap him into his booster seat and then leave him for a moment. He watched out the car window as she walked back over to the man they were talking to. She looked tense and mad, like when she caught Ben sneaking a cookie before dinner, and the man put his hands up since he didn’t have the ice cream anymore.

She got back in the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Why did we see him if you’re mad at him?” Ben asked, kicking his feet against the empty passenger seat.

His mom sighed and looked over her shoulder at him. “We can talk about it later, okay, Benny?”

Ben wanted to ask more questions but knew that his mom wasn’t happy, so he kept quiet and stopped kicking the seat.

 

Ben made it to the library at least once a week, sometimes twice if it was still open when his shift was done and he had the energy. He had to give his mom excuses as to why he wasn’t going to her lunch group but she saw right through him and asked if it was about a girl.

Then he got switched to night rotation and found every excuse to go to the library first thing in the morning, right after he got off work and before he went home to sleep. He said that he was there to look into some new thing his supervisor had mentioned during the shift, or something that had come up, but really he was just going to see Emily. He didn’t know of any of the other interns who researched things in this must depth after they left the hospital, but Ben - even if the librarian hadn’t been Emily that first day, even if it was still old Mrs. Kilpatrick, he probably still would have been going. Seeing Emily was a bonus.

Ben walks in one morning, near the end of his ‘night month’, and saw Troy Kriegshauser at the counter with Emily. He was leaning on the counter, stooped to be closer to her height, while she sorts through books in the return bin. Ben was surprised to see him there, especially since he wasn’t in uniform.

“Hey, Emily,” Ben said, walking up to the counter and skirting around Troy. He tried not to feel self-conscious about the size difference between the two of them, but he was exhausted and only human.

Emily smiled at him brightly. “Morning, Benny. This is my boyfriend, Troy.”

Troy turned to look at him and was also smiling. “Ben Arnold! Long time no see, little buddy.” He turned to Emily. “Ben and me, we were buddies back in high school.”

“Good to see you, too, Troy,” Ben said, trying to keep his tone from being unenthusiastic. They hadn’t had much contact since graduating high school, but Ben remembered Troy as one of the most honest people he knew, and he couldn’t feel sour at him and Emily dating. They were both so sweet, and though Ben didn’t know much about their relationship he was sure they made a good match.

Troy pushed himself off the counter, drawing himself up to full height - over a foot taller than Ben. “We’ll have to get coffee at Rose’s while you’re in town! How much longer will you be here?”

“At least three years,” Ben answered weakly. “I’m doing my residency at the hospital here.”

Troy grinned. “Little Benny Arnold, a  _ doctor _ ?” He clapped Ben’s shoulder. “Good on ya, buddy, you were always sayin’ you wanted to do that. I’ve gotta go, but you know how to get me on the line!” He leaned back over the counter and gave Emily a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Don’t be a stranger!” he said to Ben, friendly as ever, before walking out.

“I didn’t know you and Troy knew each other,” Emily said once he was gone.

Ben nodded awkwardly. “Yeah. Been a long time, though. I - have research to do, so I’m just gonna go. Do that.”

He walked quickly away from the entryway of the library, heading straight towards the medical textbooks, leaving Emily looking after him, confused. He didn’t want to feel bad about it - he was only Emily’s friend, even though he thought she was kind of perfect, and Troy was a great guy. Even though he knew all that logically, he only stayed in the library for an hour before going home.

 

When Ben was twelve, his dad took him out hunting. It would be the last time he went out alone with his dad, but neither of them knew it at the time. 

He watched his dad settle into the bush and sat by quietly, waited for what felt like days until a deer walked into the clearing. 

The crack of the gun made Ben clutch at his head - his dad was wearing ear muffs, but he hadn’t brought a pair for Ben. When he looked over, the deer was on the ground. From the distance, it looked asleep.

His dad stood up and grabbed his arm, helping him up, and lead him quietly over to the deer. It didn’t look asleep this close. There was a hole in the flank, and his dad tutted disappointedly. 

“Ruined the skin,” he said. “Still, good meat.”

Ben felt like he wanted to throw up or get closer. He was twelve, he’d never seen death. The goriest thing he’d seen was when he fell off the bleachers and cut open his shin.

His dad carried the deer back to the car and they drove it back to his cabin where the left it to clean later. He didn’t make Ben watch that. “There’ll be time to teach you that when you can hold a knife,” he said, and Ben just nodded, trying not to think about the possibility. There was something equally horrifying and fascinating to the idea of it.

Instead, Ben’s dad drove him home, and Ben was fine after that. He ate dinner with his mom and didn’t tell her about the deer even though she knew, his dad had told her proudly that they’d actually got something - unlike last year when he’d taken Ben out. And then that night he started to cry. “It didn’t need to die,” he told his mom. “It didn’t need to die.”

Ben never went hunting again. 

 

Things changed when Ben entered the second year of his residency and officially became a Resident, not just an intern. The length of his shifts jumped from sixteen hours to twenty-four, with an additional two to ‘finish work’, and even then no one expected to go home until at least thirty hours at elapsed. 

He tried to keep visiting the library, because questions still came up during his shifts, but he was just so exhausted all the time. It was no longer a question of going over when his shift was done, because his shifts just kept on going. He was lucky if he got more than eleven hours between his shifts, barely enough to get enough sleep in. His supervisor looked on their group with smug disdain and talked about  _ strategic napping _ , like Ben wasn’t asleep the second he had the chance.

“Troy and I broke up,” Emily said idly while Ben leaned heavily on the counter.

Ben hummed in response. His eyes felt heavy, but lately that was the norm.

“Are you even listening to me?” Emily asked, and there was a lightness to her tone that caused Ben to stand up. A surprising myrth, given the topic.

“Yeah, sorry. Sorry,” Ben muttered. “You were saying you and Troy broke up? Why, are you okay?”

Emily half-shrugged. “We just realized we weren’t… compatible, in the long run,” she said. “We’re still really good friends, and we still love each other, but I think we both realized that we aren’t  _ in _ love with each other, you know? It was pointless to keep on that path when we both knew it wasn’t the right one.”

“Oh,” Ben said lamely. “That’s really… I mean, good for you. Both of you.” He couldn’t even feel something about the information, he was so tired. “I have to go,” he said abruptly, and he turned around and went home without another word. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, not even bothering the change his clothes.

The thought first crossed his mind a month later, but he couldn’t dwell on it at the time. He had a patient in acute respiratory distress, and he needed to focus on them. Later, when the patient had been stabilized and Ben had filled out paperwork and talked to the family, he went to a storage closet to grab a blanket for a different patient and just - stood there for a second.

“Have I made a mistake?” he asked the wall of blankets and pillows. They didn’t say anything back to him. He pulled a blanket off the shelf, careful not to dislodge the ones around it, and brought it to the patient.

 

Ben’s eighteenth birthday came and went without any notice from his father. He hadn’t seen his dad in person since he was sixteen, two months after his birthday then, but he’d received a card last year.  _ Maybe it’s late _ , he thought.

A month became two and Ben still hadn’t heard anything from his father. No phone call, no birthday card - nothing.

“So he’s just gone now?” Ben asked his mom. 

She didn’t need to ask him what he was talking about, she just patted the seat next to her on the couch and he sat down next to her. “I’m not going to lie to you, Benny,” she said slowly. “You’re dad - he was never very responsible. I met him when I wasn’t much older than you are, now, and had you not long after that.”

“I know all that,” Ben said, trying not to get frustrated because his mom was actually  _ talking to him _ about his dad, and he didn’t want her to stop.

She nodded slowly. “I told him as soon as I knew I was pregnant, and he didn’t want me to keep you. I wanted you, though - I’d just found out about you and I knew I wanted to be your mom. So he left - he wasn’t from King Falls originally, so he went back to New Mexico. When he finally asked to meet you, I let him. But he still didn’t want to be a dad.” She sighed and leaned back into the couch, putting her arm around his shoulders. “That’s when he started asking for money, money that we couldn’t give him. I gave it to him sometimes, though, when I could, until I found out it was all going to booze and drugs. You were about thirteen, then.”

Ben looked down at his hands. “Did he -” he stopped, suddenly not wanting to know the answer.

His mom knew, though. “I think so,” she replied. “In his own way, he loved you. Not right, not as a good dad, but - he used to visit. You deserved better than him, and I’m sorry you didn’t get that.”

Ben turned and hugged his mom tightly. “I got you, though,” he said into her shoulder. “That’s better than most people.”

She hugged him back just as tightly. 

 

“Hello?” asked a pleasant woman’s voice.

Even though her voice was inoffensive, Ben still leaned back in his car and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hi, this is Ben Arnold. You left me a message, but no name, so - who am I talking to and why? Forgive my bluntness.”

“Forgiven. It’s understandable, under the circumstances,” she said evenly, and Ben didn’t have time to wonder  _ what _ circumstances before she kept talking. “My name is Louisa Kelly, I’m the executor of your fathers’ will.”

That made Ben sit up straight. “What?”

“I was made to understand you were expecting my call. I’m sorry it couldn’t get to it sooner. I’d like to make arrangements so that we can go over what your father left you.”

Ben blinked. “I haven’t talked to him in over ten years. Are you telling me he’s dead?”

Louisa paused. “Just to be sure… what is your fathers’ name?”

Ben had to think about it longer than he should have. He choked it up to fatigue, but the reality was that he hadn’t needed to think about his father’s full name in his whole life. “Gabriel Joseph Stocker.”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Arnold,” she said. “Your father died three months ago. I can give you the information of who to contact - I can’t imagine why you weren’t told before. I’m sorry for your loss. You can get back in contact with me when you’re ready.”

Ben thanked her and hung up, and then he drove to his mothers’ house.

 

It was harder to tell his mother than he thought it would be, but the got the words out in fits and starts and he didn’t cry.

“Dad’s dead,” he said finally and he let himself slump into the couch. “I don’t know how it happened, I still have to call the hospital, but… he’s dead.”

His mother sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him, letting him lean his head on her shoulder.

He didn’t cry.

 

Without meaning to, Ben found himself outside Emily’s apartment building.

_ Can I come up? _ he texted her, and she texted him back almost immediately that he could.

She didn’t ask him what was wrong right away, just handed him a glass of water and directed him to the couch.

He drank the water quickly, surprised at how thirsty he was. He hadn’t been thinking in terms of his body. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.

Ben set the glass down softly. “Have I ever talked about my dad to you?” he asked quietly.

He could see her shaking her head in his periphery. “No,” she replied, just as softly.

“That’s because we haven’t really… had a relationship, for a long time,” Ben admitted. He looked down at his hands. “I just found out he died. I don’t even know why I  _ care _ , I haven’t talked to him in - God. In so long. It’s been  _ so _ long, and he was never really there, so I don’t -” he took a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t know why I care.”

Emily rested her hand softly on the inside of his forearm. “He was your dad. It’s understandable that you’re upset.”

He shook his head. “He didn’t even want to meet me until I was almost starting school and he broke off contact before I graduated - he wasn’t around for very long and that was a  _ long _ time ago. I could barely remember his middle name.”

And then, all of a sudden, he started to cry. Big, shuddering sobs that shook his shoulders. He couldn’t say anything but Emily moved in closer, resting her head against his shoulder.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the sobs start to stop and Ben was left gasping. Emily silently got up and brought him more water. “I don’t know why I care,” he repeated weakley. “He never cared about me.”

Emily rubbed his back. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

Later on, Ben wouldn’t be able to say why he did it. It wasn’t something he would have done if he was thinking clearly. Later on, he wouldn’t be able to remember much of that day clearly at all, even though at the time it felt like it was going to be seared into his mind. From the moment of the phone call until he would go to sleep, the whole day would blend together. Sometimes, when he remembered this moment with Emily, it was in his mothers’ living room.

What actually happened was this: they were in Emily’s living room. She had a hand on his back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. He turned to look at her and maybe it was the light from the streetlamps reflecting off her face, or the way the exhaustion seeped into his bones and he couldn’t help but think  _ what if _ ?

Whatever the reason, Ben leaned forward. His eyes were closed and right before he was sure he should have kissed her - her hand on his chest pushed him back and he opened his eyes.

She didn’t say anything, just shook her head.

“Why not?” Ben asked. “Why can’t you just - I’m a  _ nice guy _ .”

“Ben, you’re hurting,” she said placatingly. “This isn’t the time for this conversation.”

Ben stood up. “Then when is the time? Can’t you just - tell me if you feel anything for me? At all?”

“This isn’t the time,” she repeated.

Ben didn’t say anything. He was too wrapped up in his own head, he just walked out the door and went back to his apartment and fell asleep. And then he woke up and went to work and didn’t text Emily. She didn’t try to contact him either, and he figured - the ball was in her court. She knew how he felt.

 

Ben was twenty-one the last time he heard anything about his dad. He’d just finished his undergrad and was preparing to start med school in the fall. He was working full time to help supplement the loans they were taking out and Ben promised himself that he would pay them all back as soon as possible and set his mom up nice, too. She deserved a comfortable life. Like everything, they would make this work.

“Gabe called me,” his mom told him when he got home from his job at the radio station. He didn’t have formal training, but he knew his way around computers and helped to edit and produce commercials for the various shows.

Ben froze, halfway to the kitchen for a late-night snack. “What did he want?”

His mom smiled sadly. “Same thing as always. Money.”

Ben pressed his lips into a thin line. “We can’t afford to give him any. What did you tell him?”

“I told him no, but he said it was for bail,” she explained. “I won’t give him anything without your input, because - well. It’s money that would otherwise go to school.”

“Let him rot in prison,” Ben said, and his voice was harsh and angry - unfamiliar. He wanted to feel bad about the rage that swept through him but he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was undeserved.

His mom didn’t say anything, face carefully neutral. “I won’t call him back,” she said decisively, and Ben just nodded.

If Gabe ever called her again, she didn’t tell Ben. 

 

Ben hadn’t talked to Emily in almost a year when her mother’s phone number showed up in his missed calls. He checked the voicemail and she just asked that he call her back, so he did.

“Hello? Ben?” she said. She sounded exhausted.

“What’s wrong, Mrs. Potter?” he asked, running a hand through his hair as he sat in his car.

“Have you seen Emily in the last two days?” she asked.

Ben almost shook his head before remembering that she couldn’t see him. “No. I haven’t talked to her in a while.” 

“I know you two had some problems but I just -” she sighed. “It’s probably nothing. Don’t worry about it. Have a good day, Ben.”

Ben was worried about it. “You, too, Mrs. Potter.”

The first call Ben made was to Troy. “Have you seen Emily? Her mom just called me,” he said, in lieu of a greeting.

“Now, Ben, you know I can’t comment on an active missing persons case,” Troy said evenly.

Ben sat up straight. “So she’s missing? Like, officially?”

“Dangit. I hadn’t meant to say that,” Troy muttered. “Yes, Emily’s gone missing. It isn’t -  _ really _ officially, it hasn’t been long enough. No one seems to have seen her for a few days, though. Not since she left work on Thursday.”

“Did she show up to work on Friday?” Ben asked.

“It doesn’t look like it. Look, I really shouldn’t be talking about this, but I’ll let you know when I hear something, okay?” Troy promised.

“Thanks,” Ben said. He hung up without ceremony and went home. Even though he was exhausted - in six months he’d be done his residency, and God that was a terrifying prospect - he couldn’t sleep.

It was nearly midnight on Sunday when Ben saw Emily stumble into the ER. She looked gaunt and pale even though he only saw her from a distance. Closer nurses and a doctor rushed over to help her, and Ben backed away. He called her mom from a storage room and stayed away from her bed, focusing on the patients he was already assigned to. She was discharged in the morning to her mother’s care, before Ben was even done his shift.

 

Ben was seven when he realized he was different from the other kids. He looked different - his skin was darker, and he was the only kid with curly hair in his class - but his family was different, too.

“Why doesn’t dad live with us?” he asked, because all of his other friends lived with their moms  _ and _ dads.

She pulled him up into her lap. “Because your dad and I aren’t married,” she said simply.

Ben wasn’t satisfied. “Why not?”

“We aren’t right for that,” she answered. “We were very young when you were born, and even though we both love you, it wouldn’t be good for us to live together.”

“Younger than me?” Ben asked, and his mom laughed.

“No. We were a lot older than you. Just younger than most people are when they have a baby,” she said lightly. 

Ben nodded. He wasn’t totally sure how old his mom was, but he knew she was a lot younger than the other kids’ moms. Some of them had wrinkles, and Ben knew that that meant you were older. “So it’s just because you don’t want to?”

“I guess.” She paused. “Would you… want to stay at his house?”

Ben thought about it. “Maybe for a sleepover,” he said eventually. “You’re way more fun than him.”

That made her laugh again, and she let him go so he slid off the couch. “Can we play lego?” he asked, and ran off to grab the bin when she nodded.

 

Ben gets home and sleeps for thirteen hours after Emily was in the ER and wakes up to his day off. He doesn’t leave the apartment - there aren’t groceries that need to be done, no errands to run, because he doesn’t really use up the things in his apartment quickly.  He’s one person working eighty-hour work weeks; he barely knows the layout of his own apartment anymore.

All the other residents are gossiping when he arrives the next day.

“Did you see him?” Eliza asked.

Ben felt confused. “See who?”

Sarah put the back of her hand to her forehead and mimed fainting. “The handsome FBI agent who was here yesterday. Yesterday?” She stood up and looked at her watch. “Yeah, okay. It was yesterday, about two P.M.”

That didn’t help to clear anything up for Ben. “What was he asking about?” 

“There was that girl here, I think? I didn’t see her,” Eliza admitted. “He was asking if we knew anything about what was wrong with her, and he didn’t but we couldn’t tell him.”

_ What would the FBI want with Emily? _ Ben wondered. “What was his name?”

Both women shrugged. “You’d have to ask Tom,” Sarah said. “I don’t think he told either of us, but I think he talked to Tom first.”

Ben cornered Tom a few hours later when he saw him in the break room. “I heard about an FBI agent around here yesterday,” he said, trying to be idly conversational and coming off as much too interested. “What was his name?”

Tom laughed. “Are you trying to get his number like Sarah was?” he teased. “He said he was Special Agent Jack Wright.”

Ben rolled his eyes. “I knew the girl,” he admitted. “The one he was asking about? I thought maybe I could help.”

“Oh - well, he gave me his car.” Tom patted his pockets for a minute before pulling it out. “I didn’t know anything, but you can call him here.”

Ben didn’t call Agent Wright. He didn’t actually know anything about Emily’s situation, but he  _ was _ curious - so he looked him up, and that was the first that Ben heard of the X-files.

Everything clicked into place.

 

Emily texted him for the first time in over a year and a half about two hours after he arrived in Washington D.C.. 

_ I’m really proud of you _ , she said.

Ben couldn’t help but smile. He replied a simple  _ thanks _ and then, hesitatingly, added  _ how are you? _

They started to talk every day again while Ben was in FBI training. He admitted to her that being a ‘normal’ doctor had never felt right to him, but something about this - something about the training he was doing now did. Right after he graduated from the training program, he heard rumours of Agent Wright resigning, or deserting, or something - it wasn’t clear. He put in a transfer request for the X-files anyway.

When he received the acceptance from Director Spears, something felt right about that, too.

**Author's Note:**

> So: As I said, I'm working on "present" day case fics that will be relatively Ben-centric.
> 
> Because of that, I have a request for you all reading this: I would greatly appreciate it if you could leave a comment and tell me what thing you would most want to see expanded on and continued in those fics. I have a plot outline but it's fairly nebulous right now, and I want to see what connects with people and what people want to see more of!
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment if you did.


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